Hurt: inspired by the lyrics to the song hurt by Johnny Cash

I've been here before the feelings are the same as they were the last time only the last time it didn't hurt as much as it does now I know if I was to hurt myself again it would only cause me and you more pain and yet it seems to be all I know how to do in order to deal with my pain I don"t understand how I can seem to be alive to everyone that is around me and yet I hurt myself just to feel the pain in order to see if I'm still alive is this reality a reality I created for myself in order to hide from my feelings or is this just part of the disease and I need to learn how to deal with it all these feelings that I have bottled up for so long need an escape but I don't think I 'm ready for it just yet I don't think I could handle your reaction or my own