No way Out

It seems no matter where I look or turn I seem to hurt someone or myself. Why can't I control this monster and learn how to express my pain feelings without hurting someone. It seems there is no way out of this pain and suffering and this dark place I'm in seems to be taking over. How do I fighta monster that is much bigger then me and yet it is me, and how do I ask people to help me and forgive me when I can't forgive myself.

I don't wanna write about 2

I don't wanna write about how dark and foreboding you are. I don't wanna write about how much you have cost me this year. I don't wanna write about how you cripple me each day and i don't wanna write about how much you've taken from me. Most of all I don't wanna write about the fact that I can't fight you on my own I have to give in and learn to let people help me. The sad part is I don't think I can fight you any longer you have one and I don't care to try and control you anymore.

I don"t wanna wite about

I dont wanna write about how you destroyed me for life and I don't wanna write about how my innocnece died on that day. Or how I may never be able to have a normal healthy adult relationship with any guy after what you did to me. I don't wanna write about how I still cry about it to this day when I think about it or talk to someone about my past experiences and I definately don't wanna write about how I will never trust anothjer guy to not do to me what you did but I guess I just di and this has been the best way to deal with the fact that the day you raped me my innocence was taken from me and I will never get it back.