Random Thoughts on Life

Lately I've been thinking about where my life is going and it seems that it isn't really going anywhere. All I think about is being done with school and having my job as a teacher and yet i don't want to put the effort in or even get out of bed. Whats wrong with me has the monster known as depression gotten a hold on me again. Oh God not again it took me months to pick up the pieces and get my work on track the last time when is this horrific nightmare of depression and mania going to end. The only thing that seems to help is the one thing that I'm the most afraid of when will I grow to trust that maybe medication isn't as horrible as I think. Until then I guess I'm just stuck in the horrific and terrifying cycle of bipolar disorder.